Life Pride & Joy I do a lot of things in my life so that others are proud of me and my accomplishments. In grade school, it was one of the things that drove me to achieve good grades, to get accepted into District band, to lead our youth group and worship band, to
Life There were two. There once was two. There then was one. Now there's two. Meet the other set of feet in my life. Unexpectedly about 5 months ago I had the opportunity to meet someone at a Haiti benefit fundraiser. Since then, those other set of feet have been a part
Life Sentimental Fool I want to let go, I want to move forward, I want freedom. This was former me-married, with a brand new kitten I love, in my apartment-home of The Boitsons. That was me. Now I'm a Boitson. Singular. I'm sentimental-I look back at those pictures, and
Life Present in the Storm Some days, this is me. The tree in the storm. Deeply rooted to my beliefs, my morals, my past, my home, but my branches are thrown about in the winds of my future, of the turmoils of my present, or the grief of my past. I have been feeling very
Leisure I Don't Wanna Growup My friend Ashley & I after running fully clothed into the Binn's Park Fountain and having a sit... Sometimes you need to be a kid again, but do you remember when we were kids and all you wanted to do was grow up and live out your dreams?
Life Slow Down Floating down that old river boy All my worries far behind Floatin down that old river boy Leave old memories way behind _ Yes the days slowly fade All my life...I cant wait for this time _ Yes the days slowly fade I've been waitin now and forever for
Life Bodily Harm Grief must take a toll on our bodies. My joints ache, I have developed anxiety, depression, high cholesterol: granted, my weight doesn't help these matters, but most of it has accumulated since having been dealt an unhealthy dose of grief. There are a lot of things in life
Life Help Not Wanted It has always been a hard concept for me to understand that not everyone wants help. It's quite funny that I am not good at understanding this, because in most cases, I am fiercely independent to the point of stubborn (just slightly). When it came to widowhood, and
non profit Cancer Takes Again Angiosarcoma struck again, this time, with a dog. One of my dearest friends last night lost their dog to what is believed to be an angiosarcoma tumor of the heart, which occurs in dogs. When I first researched Angiosarcoma, I could only find information about it occuring in dogs. The
Life Learning from our Past I think about Kevin less and less. When I do conjure up his image, the thoughts of our marriage and relationship, I feel a tweak guilty for having moved forward. I feel guilt in not mourning "enough" (what is enough?), and at times feel like I have failed
Life Time Warp When you are focused on your grieving process and moving forward while trying to complete daily tasks, you miss a lot of things. If you have ever grieved anything in life, you know that during that process, you miss many things that are right in front of you. Some of
About Me The Best Story Isn't there a quote somewhere about the best stories are the ones that you live? Ok, maybe I'm making that up, but most likely I just combined two quotes I know into one. Whatever it is, I have a story. This story of long distance love,
Life Giving Life, Giving Love After writing my blog "Neverlove" a few days ago, that very evening I watched the movie "Ghost of Girlfriends Past". I love Matthew McConaughey. How can you not love his greasy good looks and cheesy copout humor? But besides all that, the movie ended on the
Life Neverlove If you never love, you will never have that devastating hurt. I had an interesting conversation with a good friend this week on love and commitment. I have always failed to understand people's fear in commitment, but there are so many reasons that develop this particular fear. With
Leisure The Trip The trip to Kevin's hometown of Winnipeg was good, but tough, as is anything involving the reminder of his passing. My parents and I drove a scenic route North through Sault Sainte Marie, Ontario and across Thunder Bay and the Whiteshell into the Winnipeg. The last day of
Life Anxious to Close Last night I had a major anxiety attack around midnight. Deep breaths did not calm, sitting in a yoga position trying to find my center did nothing, my skin felt crawling, my heart raced, my mind was jumbled. I have not felt that intense of anxiety since Kevin's
non profit Keepin' it Kevin I am sure some of you who are new to the world of Sarcoma Cancer are wondering where we came up with the phrase "keepin' it Kevin", besides the obvious thing: Kevin was, well, Kevin! Unfortunately for those who never had the opportunity to meet Kevin, you
Life Closure? Closure is not a word that gets used often in grief. This week I go to give the final "OK" on Kevin's tombstone-the marker noting his final resting place. Yes, it has taken me over 1.5 years to take care of this, but honestly, before
non profit When Hope Exceeds I do not want this to happen again. I do not want to hear another story about a young couple dealing with a completely unexpected, and devastating cancer. I do not want to hear there are few options in treatment because there's just "not enough research"
Local Update on the J Cancer Squad...remember? It's been months since I have made mention of my former Quad J Cancer Squad, but today there is a very sad, but important update. Unfortunately, now two of the J's have passed from this world. We lost Jennifer to Angiosarcoma last year, which was such
Life InCramity July is insane. I look ahead, and go, wait, is it August? In 2 days I'll be enjoying a hopefully quiet camping beach vacation outside of Assateague with my parents and siblings. In 11 days, I'll be leading the first EVER central Pennsylvania Team Sarcoma event
Life Badge of Honor I wear a badge of honor that says, "Widow". It was stamped on me over a year and a half ago, and I wear it with pride. It is a part of my life, a part of who I am on this day, something I have earned with
Life Cycling Back My life contains a lot of "re". Life is constantly cycling, going from one event to another, but often landing me back at some point near the beginning. A growing process where I start over, but with a different purpose, drive, and ultimately more knowledge. This past week
Life Discontented Sorts My brain is in a slight state of disconnect. I get this way-I have in the past, and so I know this is not 'widow related' persay. It seems that every few months I go through this phase of evaluating my life and changing what's not
Local Join Me Tonight! Join me tonight at Aaron's Book in Lititz for a discussion on grief, and a reading from my memoir-in-progress. 7 p.m.-I hope to see you there!
