Brenda Lee Free

Feeling too much of it

Feeling too much of it

My irritation level is high. Anger rises in almost every thought. I want to say this is unlike me. Yet I am human, and to deny anger would be to deny a part of me, to deny my voice. And the one thing that I've demanded of myself

3 Months of Freedom

3 Months of Freedom

Yesterday I went to get bloodwork ahead of my endocrinology appointment today. While there I ran into someone I knew in the lab test line and discovered they were also battling cancer. It was comforting in many ways to chat with them. After we checked in they came over and

Get by with a little Help

Get by with a little Help

I survived the isolation! On June 11th I swallowed a pill containing 150 millicuries of radioactive iodine. It was, for the most part, and uneventful start. I went in and saw my fave nuclear tech, Jerry, who went over the precautions with me. Jerry went into another room and then

The Node in the Road

The Node in the Road

Last week I had 12 medical related appts. I can't recall a week before when my life has revolved so much around mine and Dave's physical and mental well-being. I am exhausted. I have (only) 5 medical appts this week! What a light schedule. On Friday

Find the Bright Lights

Find the Bright Lights

The last week has been a lot. Last Monday, the 19th, Dave took me to get bloodwork for my endocrinologist and then we drove to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore for an appointment I've had planned with Genetics for 6 months (before I received my cancer diagnosis). Oddly enough

The Good Cancer

The Good Cancer

Brenda Sieglitz 8:22 PM (0 minutes ago) to me I had to feel it to get through it. That was my mantra over and over again after Kevin died, and grief was so new and raw to me. These were all fresh and brutal emotions for me to process,

Coming soon

This is Brenda Lee Free, a brand new site by Brenda Sieglitz that's just getting started. Things will be up and running here shortly, but you can subscribe in the meantime if you'd like to stay up to date and receive emails when new content is

Soul Recovery

More. Desire. The hunt. Seeking. Wanting. Achieving. Most of what motivates me in life are these things above. And so many times it all feels too much. There have been plenty of times I've written a similar blog like this and recall my friend Sandy in the back

Untethered

Unfulfilled. Blocked. Depressed. Unhappy. Aimless. Unmotivated. These are the adjectives flying around my brain these days that describe myself. What is wrong with me that I can't see the love, happiness, success, joy, and surplus that I have in my life? I constantly seek. Seek seek seek. Wanting

Wear the F*cking Mask

Wear the F*cking Mask

Have you ever seen someone on a ventilator? Have you ever had to make the decision, or have the decision made for you, to put a loved on a ventilator before you could be in the room to say your possible goodbye? Have you ever sat beside someone on a

Weird Times

These are weird times. But I'm grateful to not be alone in this. I'm amazed each day that I get to have a partner to struggle through this with. I'm happy for technology that can connect me to all of you: friends, family and

Cruel Covid

It's no time to be cruel. This week I unfriended someone, a true rarity for me. I'll go to many lengths before unfriending: debating, messaging privately, snoozing, unfollowing. But there was no question this time. I've come close to uninstalling Facebook on my phone

Genesight Genetic Testing and Mental Health

Genesight Genetic Testing and Mental Health

I've been sharing my mental health journey with a lot of you, and honestly, it helps! While being vulnerable can be scary, I think it's good to admit where you are in life in realistic terms. I've been waiting on my results from a

Continue Your Journey

Continue Your Journey

We have another great adventure in the books. In mid-April I led a group of ladies throughout Louisville, Kentucky for a weekend of seeing the highlights around town. Bourbon tasting, tours of the Kentucky Derby and Louisville Slugger museums, candy and chocolate shops, derby hat shopping and wonderful meals. Every

#bodypositive when you're not a mom.

#bodypositive when you're not a mom.

I've used it. The #bodypositive hashtag. It had been a good, but emotionally tough weekend, and when I dolled myself up one night when my husband and I were out of town, I felt pretty. I felt good about myself and my physical presence which is something I

Bridging the Divide

Bridging the Divide

Community. It's a word that continues to swarm around my brain in everything I do. It involves so much of what I create; from group tours for widows and widowers and building the community that helps each person to feel welcomed to my business educating businesses about sustainability

A Sense of Community

A Sense of Community

When you're widowed you can find yourself feeling very lonely. Unfortunately it isn't always solely because your spouse or partner has died. Sometimes other people walk away as well. Those secondary losses of relationships can be incredibly bitter. Nearly 9 years after losing my husband Kevin,

Reflection on Past and Present

Reflection on Past and Present

I approach every summer with something tucked in the back of my mind, my sub conscious, which reminds me of the summer 9 years ago when Kevin became ill and eventually died. It was the toughest summer I had ever experienced. Although I have learned to love summer again, and

Maine Goes International - October 8-14

Maine Goes International - October 8-14

Widow Voyages has partnered with a receptive tour operator in New England which has provided us with some great great pricing for this two nation vacation to Maine and New Brunswick. We have a 10 person MINIMUM for this trip and the registration deadline is August 15, 2017. In light

Traveling Solo

Current Solo Travel Trends and Statistics * 51% of our survey respondents stated that they would be traveling solo on their next vacation. 80% of solo travelers come from Germany, followed by the UK at 69% and then Canada at 67%* * 17% will try solo travel for the 1st time and

The Many Places We Call Home

The Many Places We Call Home

Several years ago I gave a Pecha Kucha presentation at Tellus 360 in downtown Lancaster about protecting the places we love, places I consider sacred. Places I consider home. As I've been scouring Lancaster county for just the right veggies and plants to fill my gardens, I'

#OKToSay Grief, Anxiety, PTSD...Depression

#OKToSay Grief, Anxiety, PTSD...Depression

I was a wannabe depressive in middle school. I knew people who had threatened to commit suicide and had been through serious trauma. I was a bit of a drama queen and latched myself onto those people. I remember contemplating suicide-not enough to follow through-enough to wonder how I would

Montana and Wyoming National Park Grandeur - Join us for a trip in August

Montana and Wyoming National Park Grandeur - Join us for a trip in August

It's not often that you can visit multiple national parks in the span of a week, which is why the August 8-13 trip to Montana and Wyoming national parks will be exceptional. You will fly into Jackson Hole, Wyoming (Delta has some good rates) which is part of

It's not a heart attack, it's anxiety

It's not a heart attack, it's anxiety

I woke up Sunday and felt the familiar palpitations. Despite being diagnosed with superventricular tachycardia 5+ years ago, I knew it wasn't that. Or, maybe it was, but it wasn't caused by my heart. I was feeling the shortness of breath that comes with anxiety. When

Minding the Gloom

Minding the Gloom

I've been leading workshops on healing in nature for over two years now and yet I'm still amazed at how quickly my emotions and mood alter based on the weather. Yesterday was brilliant. Sunny, blue skies, the world around me turning green. I didn't