Uncategorized - Brenda Lee Free (Page 13)

Uncategorized

A collection of 563 posts

Slow Down

Floating down that old river boy All my worries far behind Floatin down that old river boy Leave old memories way behind _ Yes the days slowly fade All my life...I cant wait for this time _ Yes the days slowly fade I've been waitin now and forever for

Bodily Harm

Grief must take a toll on our bodies. My joints ache, I have developed anxiety, depression, high cholesterol: granted, my weight doesn't help these matters, but most of it has accumulated since having been dealt an unhealthy dose of grief. There are a lot of things in life

Help Not Wanted

It has always been a hard concept for me to understand that not everyone wants help. It's quite funny that I am not good at understanding this, because in most cases, I am fiercely independent to the point of stubborn (just slightly). When it came to widowhood, and

Cancer Takes Again

Angiosarcoma struck again, this time, with a dog. One of my dearest friends last night lost their dog to what is believed to be an angiosarcoma tumor of the heart, which occurs in dogs. When I first researched Angiosarcoma, I could only find information about it occuring in dogs. The

Learning from our Past

I think about Kevin less and less. When I do conjure up his image, the thoughts of our marriage and relationship, I feel a tweak guilty for having moved forward. I feel guilt in not mourning "enough" (what is enough?), and at times feel like I have failed

Time Warp

When you are focused on your grieving process and moving forward while trying to complete daily tasks, you miss a lot of things. If you have ever grieved anything in life, you know that during that process, you miss many things that are right in front of you. Some of

Giving Life, Giving Love

After writing my blog "Neverlove" a few days ago, that very evening I watched the movie "Ghost of Girlfriends Past". I love Matthew McConaughey. How can you not love his greasy good looks and cheesy copout humor? But besides all that, the movie ended on the

Neverlove

If you never love, you will never have that devastating hurt. I had an interesting conversation with a good friend this week on love and commitment. I have always failed to understand people's fear in commitment, but there are so many reasons that develop this particular fear. With

The Trip

The trip to Kevin's hometown of Winnipeg was good, but tough, as is anything involving the reminder of his passing. My parents and I drove a scenic route North through Sault Sainte Marie, Ontario and across Thunder Bay and the Whiteshell into the Winnipeg. The last day of

Anxious to Close

Last night I had a major anxiety attack around midnight. Deep breaths did not calm, sitting in a yoga position trying to find my center did nothing, my skin felt crawling, my heart raced, my mind was jumbled. I have not felt that intense of anxiety since Kevin's

Keepin' it Kevin

I am sure some of you who are new to the world of Sarcoma Cancer are wondering where we came up with the phrase "keepin' it Kevin", besides the obvious thing: Kevin was, well, Kevin! Unfortunately for those who never had the opportunity to meet Kevin, you

Closure?

Closure is not a word that gets used often in grief. This week I go to give the final "OK" on Kevin's tombstone-the marker noting his final resting place. Yes, it has taken me over 1.5 years to take care of this, but honestly, before

When Hope Exceeds

I do not want this to happen again. I do not want to hear another story about a young couple dealing with a completely unexpected, and devastating cancer. I do not want to hear there are few options in treatment because there's just "not enough research"

Update on the J Cancer Squad...remember?

It's been months since I have made mention of my former Quad J Cancer Squad, but today there is a very sad, but important update. Unfortunately, now two of the J's have passed from this world. We lost Jennifer to Angiosarcoma last year, which was such

InCramity

July is insane. I look ahead, and go, wait, is it August? In 2 days I'll be enjoying a hopefully quiet camping beach vacation outside of Assateague with my parents and siblings. In 11 days, I'll be leading the first EVER central Pennsylvania Team Sarcoma event

Badge of Honor

I wear a badge of honor that says, "Widow". It was stamped on me over a year and a half ago, and I wear it with pride. It is a part of my life, a part of who I am on this day, something I have earned with

Cycling Back

My life contains a lot of "re". Life is constantly cycling, going from one event to another, but often landing me back at some point near the beginning. A growing process where I start over, but with a different purpose, drive, and ultimately more knowledge. This past week

Discontented Sorts

My brain is in a slight state of disconnect. I get this way-I have in the past, and so I know this is not 'widow related' persay. It seems that every few months I go through this phase of evaluating my life and changing what's not

Join Me Tonight!

Join me tonight at Aaron's Book in Lititz for a discussion on grief, and a reading from my memoir-in-progress. 7 p.m.-I hope to see you there!

Working with a Passion

Passion to do life comes and goes. Some days, like today, I am gung ho and could work for hours on the Team Sarcoma bike/walk/run that is coming up on July 17th. And then other nights, like last night, I focus on the reasons WHY I am organizing

Speaking Engagement

Come out to hear me talk about Grief at Aaron's Book in Lititz this Tuesday June 29th at 7 p.m.!

It is Well

This morning I woke up with my favorite hymn in mind "It is Well with my Soul" and I couldn't stop singing. I had attended church for the first time in months on Sunday, and of all the hymns we sang, that was one. The reverend

Widowhood Surpasses Wifehood

I am approaching the point in which I will have been a widow longer than I was a wife. It's an odd feeling. A widow longer than I was a wife. I can't quite wrap my head around that one. You would think there would be

Why I Do This

Why do I continue to blog, to release my anxieties and fears and worries into the world on this platform? There are so many reasons, but today, it's simply to connect. One of my Facebook messages this morning told me that another gentleman had lost his battle with

Others First Friday Thanks to Inkling Media

http://bit.ly/deXU9o Thanks to Inkling Media and Ken Mueller for featuring Keepin' it Kevin: Team Sarcoma as his Other's First Friday cause this week! Have you checked out the big events happening on July 17, 2010? Head to http://www.facebook.com/TeamSarcomaPA or go