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Life

Life without a Calendar

I escaped. Me and another widow packed our bags and hit OCMD this weekend for a great spur of the moment beach trip, and despite the 9 inches of snow, it was perfect. Heck, even with it, it was perfect. Sometimes you need a getaway, and especially one that'

Life

What's Next...Refuse to Just 'Exist'

I have always looked to the future-planned ahead, dreamed crazy and far, and some of those things I have achieved. Having worked past enough grief that I can now look ahead yet again, I find that beyond a year I am at a complete loss. While a year off seems

Life

What do you say?

We have all done it, even I. "I'm so sorry for your loss." "They're in a better place." "They won't suffer any longer." "At least you got time to say goodbye." These things we say in

Life

Definitions

I had my third meeting with my "life coach". I'm not sure what to term him, but it's been great to discuss grief with him, to review what I'm working from, what I am working towards, and the blocks along the way.

Leisure

Another Beer in...

For the record, "Beer in Mexico" is on the radio right now. So, the blogpost name is not original. I miss traveling. Not that I don't do it-in the past 15 months I've been to Winnipeg, San Francisco, Seattle and Las Vegas. Besides that

Life

Simple, yet so Complicated.

Haiti, Angiosarcoma, Love. Life is so interesting. It's a simple twist and turn of events, yet sometimes the insanely depressing, and the pronounced joy are so intertwined life becomes incredibly complicated. Haiti. My thoughts are especially with my cousin's in laws as she awaits word. My

Life

Re-Do

In the New Year, life is a re-do of the things you didn't do last year, that you hope to change in the future. For me, it's a lot of that, and a lot of altogether new things as well. I hit 19 pounds down this

Life

I Stand

I often watch movies, with a weak female role (not her acting, but her character's flaws), and get so angry. Sometimes I even yell at the screen such things as: "Why in God's name would you open that door???" "Oh my word, are

Life

2010 #fail

Do you want to hear about my stressful weekend? I'm stressed just thinking about it, and still dealing with it. The nutshell of this weekend is that Saturday there was a cop at my door, who informed me someone sideswiped my car (remember that just 2 weeks prior

Life

The Widowhood Slugger

Widowhood is like a bat that whams you on the side of the head-from the moment you enter this new world and then again, and again, and again. It knows just when to clobber you and knock you down. But we always get back up don't we? Tonight

Life

What Really Changes Us?

Habits are usually things we learn from our surroundings: possibly things that our parents did, quirks that got us through in our childhood, or just doing things to fill the time. What really changes those things? When we read an article, watch a movie, hear a tidbit, and think "

Life

Looking Ahead-2010

I have learned to never look ahead too far because if I make too forward of a plan, often I end up not achieving it and end up feeling guilty/sad about that. It is not just in goal setting, but in dreaming. I have learned a lot about lost

Life

Merry Christmas

I may be fairly quiet over the next week with the holiday insanity! Wishing you all a healthy and very Merry Christmas. I think 2010 is going to be a great year..don't you?

Life

SUCCESS

Just wanted to share something so exciting..many of you know I went back to school this fall. Just got my grades: 4.0 STRAIGHT A'S. I didn't think this was possible as an adult student not having taken classes in almost 4 years with all

Local

It's Nice to be Home

Lancaster is a great place to be. It is nice to know everything around me, to build a sense of community as an adult, to be in a place of comfort, of warmth, and somehow, of blessing. Yesterday the world lost another Angiosarcoma soul. Rafael Rojas passed from this world

Life

Brace for the Storm

Yes, there are possibly 8-18" of snow coming. Am I happy? I'm THRILLED. I am one of those annoying people who love snow, crave it, ask for it, get all kiddy like a 5 year old waiting at the door with her sled and snowsuit. It used

Life

Memories and Eternity

I'm doing a project for work that kind of springs up memories, or hope of what could have been my future with Kevin. Looking at places we would have travelled, and how we would have loved to have a place at the beach. Working on getting the Subaru

Life

Successes

Last year at this time, I was enjoying a two week escape (and it literally was just that) to the San Francisco Bay area to meet a friend I had never met before, and then flew up to Seattle to see an old friend. I miss vacations! I have come

Life

For Me, Not He

Forewarning: Brutally honest statement ahead. I need to move forward not because he was my love, but because he gave me love. It's a twist in the head to think that way. The "what ifs" of life should not be my focus, instead, I want to

Life

Gossip, Giving & Goodwill

Do you ever forget that not everyone is nice? Or that even if you find something funny, someone else does not? Despite all that you do to give and help build a sense of community, some people construe it as being about them or having some misintent? I think all

Life

Prayer & Surgery

Please keep my mom, Lindsay, in your prayers today as she has a hysterectomy to remove her Uterine Cancer. I am very nervous and apprehensive today. Whenever I think of hospitals and surgeries, I just get flashbacks to the awful night in August 2008 when we waited for 7+ hours

Life

Holidays

I dont' know if I have mentioned this, but Wednesday my mom will be going in for surgery (hysterectomy) to take care of the Uterine Cancer with which she was recently diagnosed. October was a pretty rough, emotional, month, and that news hits me hard. Thankfully they caught it

Life

No What Ifs

There are no what ifs in life. You can think back and go "what if he had made it" or "what if he had never gotten sick", but no one can live through life thinking that way. I would be in a constant state of dissatisfaction,

Life

Precious Memories Packed up with Stinksbugs!

Last night I put up the tree. That, along with unpacking many memories last Friday when I finally "moved in" to my apartment, has been a healthy emotional ride. While I was sad, and definitely a bit depressed about finding some of those treasures, it was much better

Life

It's all New. Or at least Re-Organized.

This week I moved all but some books and camping gear into the apartment. 2 car loads, just over 2 hours and what felt like a thousand times up and down the stairs. Wowza! I stuck with it, and unpacked, stinkbugs and all, everything but the Christmas stuff (waiting for