Uncategorized Montana and Wyoming National Park Grandeur - Join us for a trip in August It's not often that you can visit multiple national parks in the span of a week, which is why the August 8-13 trip to Montana and Wyoming national parks will be exceptional. You will fly into Jackson Hole, Wyoming (Delta has some good rates) which is part of
Life Camp Widow Canada - Facing Our Grief on the Dance Floor A week ago I made the drive north to Toronto from my home in south central Pennsylvania. Once north of Harrisburg, suburbia begins to fall away and my views are filled with endless miles of streams that cut through vast valleys of deciduous trees just beginning to turn to colors
Life 5 Years Since He Died This morning around 8 am, it marked 5 years since Kevin took his last breathe on this earth. The past month, maybe two, I've been riding this intense wave of grief that I refused to believe was grief. I just figured I was moody, hormonal, annoyed from a
Life Why a Car Can Mean So Much Meet my new-to-me '09 Subaru Forester. A new-to-me car may not seem like a big deal to some. But to me, it's a huge symbol of how far I've come. I don't consider myself a super materialistic person, albeit I do love some
Life Tears, Widows, and the Memoir As I told the story of how I came to be a widow, I felt the tears well up in my eyes, my throat closing. Just as I was recalling how Kevin had asked me to stay at Johns Hopkins that night, and the next morning I could feel his
Life Passionate Grief...Gone This past week I picked up the last of Kevin's items from my parents home. Hockey bag, weight lifting equipment, his suit. The suit I debated burying him in. Tears welled up, but they didn't fall. Emotion swelled, but I didn't break. I felt
Life Merging of Family It had been 2 years since I last saw my in laws - Kevin's brother and mother came to visit me and my family this week. The merging of new and old worlds. They met my boy, his family, and to me, it all felt just right. It
Life He Would Be 40 When I see these pictures of Kevin, just about a month after his 36th Birthday, his last birthday on earth, I see such life. Kevin would be 40 on Saturday, April 7, 2012. It's a moment I know I, probably more than him, would have looked forward to.
Life I Almost Ran Over My Neighbor Today I almost ran over my former neighbor. I was driving to work, down one of 3 roads I take to get to the highway, and the one I drove on this morning was past our old address. The apartment that we first called home after living for a couple
Life He's Been Dead Too Long... That day will be tomorrow. The day I've been dreading. The day Kevin will have been dead longer than I knew him. Why should this day matter so much? It really only matters as much as I focus on it, and, well, I'm focusing on it.
Family Never Knew I never knew just how alone you could feel, despite being surrounded by your family friends, and several hundred people. But tonight, I now know. And I kinda of wish I didn't. In a lot of ways, I wish I didn't know it was Christmas eve,
Holidays Last Christmas I feel a lot of emotions at this being the first Christmas without Kevin. I feel many emotions that our first Christmas together as a married couple, was also our last. It just doesn't feel fair or adequate for the feelings we felt throughout our 3+ years together
Friends ...Pretty huh? Deb and I at the beach at Asilomar on the Monterey Peninsula Deb at one of the beautiful overlooks
music Lonely Enough Today I got to visit with a friend for lunch in Hershey, and got some good Christmas shopping done there. While driving up, listening to good music, I found a new cd I purchased a month or so ago titled "A Place to Land" by Little Big Town.
Faith Beautiful.. I heard this song tonight at LCBC's christmas service..and for the life of me, I can't remember the name, but it talks about eternity, life, death, and the beauty of salvation. And I cried..and it was beautiful. I'm doing ok-I'm
Family Emotional Homecoming I am finding that this past week being home has been really emotional. It's been hitting me very hard, being home, without Kevin. Last night, while shopping at Target, I almost broke down crying in the middle of the home decorations aisle over nothing. I just wanted to
Faith Rain Wash This Away I find the job of weathermen interesting. They're paid to study the weather and forecast the future. They put percen!tages on what may/may not occur, their warnings predictions.....and I really think that 75% of the time they're wrong. Yet we still tune in
Leisure ...More This bottom picture is my favorite. In fact, I think it was my favorite spot of the entire trip. It was this beautiful clip/rock area, and it was warm, wavy and breathtakingly beautiful. I felt happy there... Tonight, not so much. I wanted to look at pictures of Kev,
Family Back To "Life" I'm back to "life", whatever I make of it at this point. I'm adjusting to being back East, and I'm actually LOVING the snow. I like it's freshness and beauty. It's refreshing. Not to mention, I'm
About Me To Here ....and here is the story of what has brought me here... Kevin and I met online just over 3 years ago. I got a mysterious email sent from my old high school personal website that only included a picture. That picture was of Kevin, and after a few emails back
Friends *yawn* I was up at 4 am this morning to be driven 1.5 hours to the airport to make sure I was there 2 hours ahead for the usual Monday morning flight rush. I am SOOOOO tired. So, I'm hanging out in one of the airport restaurants getting
Friends Don't Worry ...the last time I didn't blog for a few days, was when Kevin passed. I promise, DO NOT WORRY, it is now a few days without blogging and trust me...I am doing just fine. I have been enjoying my relaxation in Sunny California so much. The weather
Leisure California Sunshine It is so beautiful and serene here. I just love it. It is just the perfect thing for me to be doing right now. I find some moments difficult-I have found some things really trigger my memories of Kevin, and I've already stumbled across some traditions that Kev
Friends Baby Steps I am titling this blog baby steps, because I think this is my first baby step back to life. It has officially been 5 weeks, 1 day, and 4 hours since Kevin passed. I do not feel good, I do not feel great, I don't even know what
Faith A Life of Reflection I have been given a life of reflection. I always thought I was reflective upon life before, but certain situations in life cause us to look at things differently, to see a new perspective. I always felt like I had true, life experience. What I had was experience on some
