A Year in the Life of a Widow

Meet Alicia O'Cull.  I met Alicia in an airport on the way to Camp Widow.  The back story is that we knew each other from (you guessed it) Twitter and through a serious of direct messages, realized that she was going to be on the same flight as my friend and I!

Today is Alicia's first anniversary as a widow.  A landmark in the grief world.  A devastating one, that is.  Read her letter to herself below and I do believe you'll have insight into a year in the life of a widow.  Besides that, leave her some love for today.

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Dear Me, You are one helluva woman. The next year of your life is gonna suck but it's gonna be great too. I know you think you are a totally different person but you are not. You are still you. You have changed and your soul is deeper but you are still you. I know you think you are a failure because you can't seem to pull it all together to return to work. But eventually you will. You need this time to heal and care for the kids. I know you think that the better parent died but you are an awesome mom. The kids are OK because of you. You will endure PTO meetings, parent conferences, preschool graduation, first day of Kindergarten and grief therapy sessions with them. And you both will be stronger because you faced these obstacles instead of avoiding them.

You are going to be shocked by the things you are able to do. You will plan a funeral, burial and kick ass headstone to honor the man you love. You will go to the spot of your first date, your last date, your favorite restaurants, his hometown and you will enjoy your time there in remembrance of the love you shared. You will take the kids to his work and let them tour the factory and see what he did and meet his friends.

And you are going to travel. With the help of your family, you will go places. You will visit Siesta Key FL at the one month mark and discover a poem that described him to a tee. In the spring, you will take the kids to Disney World as you promised. It will be heartbreaking to go without him but you know he wants you to go.

In the summer, you will take the kids to his hometown in Michigan to visit his parents and grandmother. You will make new memories for the kids so they will know where there dad came from. You will go to the beach where he took you on your fist trip there and bring back rocks for your memorial garden.  And the most important trip you will take will be in August when you go to Camp Widow in San Diego, CA.

Not only will travel across the country by yourself, you will meet some amazing women and men that will change your journey through widowhood and awaken your spirit to your new life.

In hindsight, your life looks pretty good. But there will be days when
you think you can't take another step. And there will be days that you
just can't do it anymore. But you ask for help and push through the pain. Your family and close friends will be invaluable as they help you with your struggles. On one lonely night, you will Google the word widow and find the most amazing
women that will support you on this journey and encourage you to keep
moving forward.  I will warn you that everything in the house is going
to break - the washer, dryer, dishwasher, a light fixture will catch
fire and the barn is going to collapse. But you are resourceful and you
will find a way to fix all this too.

You are one helluva woman. You will face the important days in your life head on. The kids birthdays will be fun. Your anniversary is gonna suck but you will survive because you made a plan to honor your marriage instead of hide from it. You know that since you shared the same birthday that it is going to be double hard. But you will spend a day in tears and the next dancing the night away. And as you face the one year mark, you will spend it in remembrance and thanksgiving to all those that have helped you survive this last year.

You are one helluva woman. You are rocking it in widowhood. And I wish you could see how you are gonna survive this. But just know this, you will. You will keep moving forward and make a great life for you and the kids.

Now on to Year 2!

Love, Me

Bio:

I lost my husband to metastic melanoma at 36 years old.

My life and dreams were rocked to the core but now I have re-emerged into living again.

I have an unceasing positive attitude and always wear a giant smile.

I’m a true southern woman with an unquenchable zest for life.

**note from Brenda - sorry for the formatting issues**