Messy

I feel like life is messy, and I guess that's because...it is! In just 15 hours I start the beginning of something "new" in my life. It's like the first step into my new life, it's my first time admitting I'm moving forward and actually doing it, and it feels messy, and depressing, and wrong. It's not that I'm not looking forward to this job, or going to the gym more and more, or just doing things, but with everything that I START, It means stepping further into my new life.

I don't feel ready for that, or at least, not ready to admit it. It makes me feel naked and alone and afraid. I'm optimistic, yet scared to death. I guess this is all normal-despite this chaotic feeling in my head, I know this is all part of it.

I've been doing stuff with friends, but everytime I'm not with someone else, and I'm just sitting at home watchin' tv it feels so depressing. sometimes I know it's good to just relax, but I don't handle relaxation very well right now.

Just feeing messy, overwhelmed, scared tonght. It's going to be ok, right?