About Me - Brenda Lee Free

Am I going to make it?

The world continues to spin even after death despite feeling like it has stopped. Life moves forward even after death despite our want to go back in time or to never take one more step. Last evening I went to dinner with 2 widows: one who is 3 years out like myself, and one who is 6 months out. Late

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Mistakes

Why do words affect me so? They create drama in my brain that I can't shut off. I use other people's words to torture myself. If I make a mistake, and it's pointed out, I go over it again and again and feel the

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Grief & Social Media

Big thanks to Leigh of the York Daily Record for featuring me in an article about grief and social media. Take the time to read and also view the video to learn more about the other family featured, the Dolins. Social media, a place to share life events, becomes a

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Guest Post at Gray Hair and Acne

Today you can find a blog post from moi over at Gray Hair and Acne. The Case Against "Couldn't. Stop over and weigh in on your "couldn't"s.

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What Would I Be if I Weren't the Crazy Widow?

Defining yourself is not one easy task. It is ongoing. You evaluate all the things that bring you to this point in life. You ask around about the characteristics that people believe define your existence. I don't believe any one of us wants to be labeled as any

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Trusting my Decision

I realized today that I really suck at make decisions on my own. I can't just speak out "YES" or "NO" without seeking further input on a decision. Maybe it's because I've been known to be too spontaneous for my

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Savvy Auntie Guest Blog - From Widow to Auntie

I am so proud to have a blog featured on the Savvy Auntie website! I was ecstatic when Melanie Notkin, Savvy Auntie founder, replied to my email inquiry asking if I could share my story about how Monkey (my niece) changed my family and I's world after a

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Emotions of an Anniversary

Meet bitter Brenda. I am happy to say that, for the most part, she doesn't show up until the bad timing of others. It's not their INTENTIONAL bad timing (although it feels that way) it's more or less that I would rather not be

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Searching for the Soul Job

23 jobs, I think; some repetitive. There were, and always have been, multiple jobs. I love seeing my dreams from when I was 14, beginning my first job, I wanted to be a writer, a journalist, a musician. Now, 13 years later, those things are all part of my life

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Moments

I've been pretty quiet for an entire week which is just slight of a miracle for me. The last time I went silent was probably when something bad happened. In this case, nothing BAD really happened, just lots of change in a short amount of time. As you

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Fun Friday - Caption My Photos!

If you follow me on Twitter...or Facebook, or if you read this blog, you know I've been having a pity party. Woe is moi. I screwed up my back. My widow friends are going through hard times. I have no money. WAH WAH WAH. It's

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Camp Widow - They're Gonna Get Me

Friday morning I fly out to San Diego. It will be the first time in this city, for which I'm quite excited, but also the first time I get to meet widows of all ages and kinds. I also get to meet widows with whom I have built

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Authenticity

Who is Brenda Boitson? Is she a widow? Well, yes. Was she a wife? Yes. Is she a recovering Mary Kay consultant who know would rather wear hiking boots than heels? Definitely. I question who I am in my name, my self and my being aside from the titles that

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The Cat

I have a cat. Darrell. He's pretty cute if I do say so myself - of course, I am a biased cat mommy. I grew up with cats (we only had 1 dog, Blackie)-they all lived outside until I adopted one in 2003 named Radar and convinced

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Vulnerability Series: Mind

I cannot do this. You do not know how many times I have said this to myself. It has probably been more along the lines of "I don't THINK I can do this" which leaves me to believe that I cannot. My parents supported me through

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Vulnerability Series: Body

This morning I had the privilege to read a guest post on my friend Susan's blog discussing body image. I have touched before on my issues dealing with self esteem and negative body image, but I don't know if I have ever intimately shared with my

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The Story that Needs (Is) Told

I think I'm gonna write. I know, what do you call THIS? I've been working (at a pace of about 3 pages a month) on my memoir since after Kevin died. If you go back to the early days of losing Kevin, you'll see

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Who is this girl?

I am not the woman I once was. I'm not her. I'm def. not her. This girl wasn't me either. I have gone through a rebirth. Kevin's death was most likely the catalyst, but the series of events that have tackled my

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I wanted Four

Visit my friend Sara's blog today. There you'll find a very personal look into children, and where my dreams of children have gone since losing Kevin.

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I'm an AUNTIE!

After two+ years of seemingly nothing but death and cancer, this delivery yesterday was a much welcome, and needed, addition to our family! My sister had this little girl yesterday, red hair and all, and I am succumbed with joy and hope. Last evening after spending most of the day

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I'm a Women on my Way!

This morning, it was officially announced that I was 1 of 10 women who won the "Women on their Way: Local Nation" essay contest! I am thrilled to be amongst these incredible woman, and am looking forward to traveling courtesy of Wyndham! I really appreciate all of my

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To Never Say Goodnight

warning The following blog is very descriptive of the death of my husband. I never never shared the details on this blog, and only with close friends/family. I recently submitted this to a writing competition in which it was declined for the award, but I still feel it'

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Guest Post Crazy

I thought I'd let you know about some guest posting I've been doing lately! You should first check out last week's guest post on Andilit! Andi is an amazing writer who currently lives in Virginia. We have connected via Twitter, and finally in real

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Please Vote

I know I've mentioned it before, but this has become something very important to me. You all know that since Kevin's death I have been enjoying a lot of travel. However, travel doesn't like my budget and vice versa. This opportunity to travel write

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Women on the Move

As I continue to expand upon my other writing, please vote for my essay for the Women on the Move travel writing contest! You can vote every day until 1/31 just by clicking "like" on the upper right corner of the page. Click Here to Vote! On