Life

A collection of 530 posts

Life

Successes

Last year at this time, I was enjoying a two week escape (and it literally was just that) to the San Francisco Bay area to meet a friend I had never met before, and then flew up to Seattle to see an old friend. I miss vacations! I have come

Life

For Me, Not He

Forewarning: Brutally honest statement ahead. I need to move forward not because he was my love, but because he gave me love. It's a twist in the head to think that way. The "what ifs" of life should not be my focus, instead, I want to

Life

Gossip, Giving & Goodwill

Do you ever forget that not everyone is nice? Or that even if you find something funny, someone else does not? Despite all that you do to give and help build a sense of community, some people construe it as being about them or having some misintent? I think all

Life

Prayer & Surgery

Please keep my mom, Lindsay, in your prayers today as she has a hysterectomy to remove her Uterine Cancer. I am very nervous and apprehensive today. Whenever I think of hospitals and surgeries, I just get flashbacks to the awful night in August 2008 when we waited for 7+ hours

Life

Holidays

I dont' know if I have mentioned this, but Wednesday my mom will be going in for surgery (hysterectomy) to take care of the Uterine Cancer with which she was recently diagnosed. October was a pretty rough, emotional, month, and that news hits me hard. Thankfully they caught it

Life

No What Ifs

There are no what ifs in life. You can think back and go "what if he had made it" or "what if he had never gotten sick", but no one can live through life thinking that way. I would be in a constant state of dissatisfaction,

Life

Precious Memories Packed up with Stinksbugs!

Last night I put up the tree. That, along with unpacking many memories last Friday when I finally "moved in" to my apartment, has been a healthy emotional ride. While I was sad, and definitely a bit depressed about finding some of those treasures, it was much better

Life

It's all New. Or at least Re-Organized.

This week I moved all but some books and camping gear into the apartment. 2 car loads, just over 2 hours and what felt like a thousand times up and down the stairs. Wowza! I stuck with it, and unpacked, stinkbugs and all, everything but the Christmas stuff (waiting for

Life

The Dream

You have dreams growing up. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? Where should I go? You concoct these great images of the person you can become and you let nothing hold you back in your imagination because we have instilled in ourselves a '

Life

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http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2339860/a_widows_view_on_the_us_healthcare.html?cat=9 Please check out my recent article that I wrote on my view of what needs to be done for healthcare reform. Of course, now that it's headed to the Senate, we need

Life

Free?

Yesterday I felt the grief veil lifted from my eyes. I left work and as I was driving, I saw the changing of the trees in all their Fall glory, the clouds flying away and finally releasing the sunset, and the immense white moon aglow even though the sun had

Life

Signs & Survival

Continued, sorry about that. I have always believed in signs. Just that things come across or happen for reasons, not out of coincidence. To be quite honest, I believe in absolutely no coincidences. I truly believe that there is purpose for every action and happenstance. Which is why, when blogging

Life

Approach

For weeks after Kevin passed, it was 1 week, 2 weeks, 16 weeks. Not only did I mark my life by how long it had been since I had been blessed with his presence here on earth; I also marked it by how long I had survived without him by

Life

Crazy Love...Crazy Sick.

I have swine flu. Yeah, it sucks. I'm pretty much quaranteed to the house until Tuesday when I'm allowed to go back to work and leave the house without wearing a medi-mask. You should've seen the looks I got in CVS today wearing the

Life

FLU

Had a great BUSY BUSY weekend at my brother's wedding........but now I'm down with the flu/bronchitis, or something like it. Pray I get better soon.

Life

Looking Back, Hard to See Forward

Life is tossing me some lemons right now. Just feeling much anxiety about the 1 year anniversary and some other things surrounding that. On top of that, I've been hit with what seems to be a sinus infection. Yay! I'm just feeilng pretty miserable and run

Life

The Dream isn't Dead

I met with my mentor on Saturday morning and got a swift, GREAT, kick in the bum. The dream isn't dead. It isn't about making excuses, or thinking " I can't because...", because often the "I can't"s are

Life

Welcome Back Flannel, I Have Missed You...

...for more than just last season. Yes, Kevin was one of "those" guys who insisted on one sheet (non flannel), maybe a blanket on occasion, and never the $200 comforter from the Nate Berkus collection at Linens-n-Things that I "had to have" (he never let me

Life

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I survived, he did not. You ask if I'm ok, and part of me wants to lie. Do you ask because you care? Or do you ask to be polite? Some understand, most just do not want to know. Reality in its true form is not on TV.

Life

Dear Kevin

I cannot believe it has been over 11 months since I have seen you, held you, talked to you. You are in my thoughts every single day. I feel robbed of your presence here on earth, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don'

Life

11 Months

I missed blogging on the official 11th month, and I'm ok with that. So yes, 11 months has come and gone and as I approach the year, I am trying to rid myself of the anxiety leading up to that day. While it's hard to not

Life

Imagine

I know it is not easy being relatable to other people. One of the hardest parts of widowhood, is that it feels like no one gets what you are going through, not even the other widows. So not only do you feel alone because your spouse has died, but you

Life

The Blue Underneath

Driving to work this morning the sky was crowded with light gray, puffy clouds. I thought, wow, what a cool fall morning. The sky is like me this morning, just hiding.... But then, the closer I got to my coffee stop, I saw on the horizon that underneath all those

Life

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I don't have a title, because my thoughts are so jumbled. It has been a rollercoaster 24 hours. I am not sure if it is the accumulation of hormones, my roomie being out of town, approaching 11 months, approaching 1 year, dreams about Kevin, changing in the seasons,

Life

Struggling

I am struggling with this grief. It is just 1 month and 7 days until the year anniversary. It is an overwhelming feeling. I can't tell if I'm more depressed about everything that has happened, or if it is the impending realization that it has almost