Life

A collection of 530 posts

Life

Uncertainty

Today's emotion: Uncertain I feel very "bleh" when it comes to making decisions on my own right now. For example, ordering new checks today. It felt weird with my name, my new address. Planning some vacations without Kevin's input. Should I or shouldn'

Life

15 Weeks

I'm 15 weeks out. Arg. Ya know, today started off good, and then I just started feeling the whole sad, sorry for myself widow grief thing, and I don't like it! Then I try and think about why it is that today is sad, and not

Life

Sunshiney Days

I love the sunshine. I need it, I crave it. For someone like me who thoroughly enjoys snow, winter clothing, and bundling up in cute hats, my only thought right now is windows down, cute capri shorts, many pairs of sunglasses, camping equipment, surf fishing, and BEACH, SAND, OCEAN. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Life

Depression?

So, I don't know what's going on. I have a solid feeling it has to do with moving that my emotions are all out of whack. What I thought I had embraced as my reality, now I feel so confused about. I just think and go,

Life

Moving Forward = Depression

I am finding that with this new apartment, working full time again, and passing a monumental anniversary alone, I am feeling a lot of anxiety and depression with moving forward. In a way, I feel like my life is divorced from the past. There is this massive void that is

Life

Long Week

It's been almost a week since I've updated, and so much has happened, I'm exhausted. The anniversary turned out fine. It was a tough day, but dinner that evening with my friends and family was very nice. It felt good to have them close

Life

The Beautiful Legacy

Today, I am honoring the celebration of my 2nd wedding anniversary. Tears must flow, but joy must be remembered. I woke up this morning, and my first thought was, "Happy Anniversary Baby". It was something I woud have uttered to my husband lying next to me, and a

Life

February 3-Second Anniversary

Kevin, His Mother Linda, and Brother Ken Linda putting her family pearl's on me-they're so beautiful My mom, Lindsay, Putting in my earings My Father Don, Mother Lindsay and I before the ceremony Getting Ready: Me, Mom Lindsay, Friend Ashley, Sister Joni and Friend Kristen-BEAUTIFUL gals

Life

Overwhelmed

I'm feeling overwhelmed this morning. Just the compacting of EVERYTHING. New job, my back problems, moving, and my 2nd anniversary are WOWZA. Thankfully my new, secondary employer is flexible and agreed to give me until Friday to start. I just need that time to pack, get organized, recuperate

Life

Busy, Busy & Bowl

Just a quick post to say that I'm hangin in. Threw my back out Friday-EEK-so I'm in quite a lot of pain, and that made me push back any moving to next Saturday. Not a lot to move, but at least it will give me this

Life

The Lump

Yes, the lump. The one that sticks it self right in your upper chest/lower throat area when you're sad, grieving, anxious, angry, whatever. I started getting this lump right when Kevin was first put on the vent. I've never before had anxiety attacks, but I

Life

Everything is Sick

At least, in my life. But I think we're all better now. My jeep, after spending ALL day in the shop on Friday was "fixed" until Sunday when I had to have her towed into the shop again. So, some more $ (cha ching cha ching) later,

Life

Flu? Or Bug?

I spent all of last night tossing and turning because I kept getting nauseated. Woke up, showered, went back to bed and felt worse, so I called out sick. Took it easy today-chilled, drank sprite, did NOTHING, took a hot bath. Now? Feel worse. UGH. I think I just MAY

Life

Quick Prayer Please

Kristi and I are going to look at 2 apartments tonight. The one is a great 1st floor, 2 br on the west end for the cheapest we've found. Pray that it will suit our needs and they'll approve us-it sounds PERFECT!

Life

Moving Day

It looks like I should be moving out either the end of this month, or sometime next month. I will need HELP. I need boxes to pack up the things at my parents, and I could use a few pairs of MUSCLES for the big couch, bed, and just heavier

Life

I'd Give Anything

I never imagined that I would EVER say this, but I woud give anything for the distance between Kevin and I, just to be immigration and us in different countries. I could deal with that for a lifetime again if it meant he was stil here-that I could talk to

Life

What Am I Most Looking Forward to Moving Out??

Take a guess.... MY CAT DARRELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh-I look forward to having someone else in my bed besides me again! Was he NOT the cutest kitten ever? Darrell still loves to hide even as a grown kitten This is Darrell's most common position: licking wet heads. Almost everytime Kev

Life

12 Weeks

The growing of life, and the distance from death are measured in weeks. Today is week 12. In most cases, 3 months. I am sad. Frustrated. Sore. Need a massage. Need my husband. Good thing I'm going to grief therapy tonight. Some milestones stink more than others.

Life

..update coming...

Today was a roller coaster day, and it has everything to do with 3 bags of tools, and a hockey bag full of equipment bigger than I, in the back of the jeep. sigh. Reminders of Kev. Tonight though, I'm going out with the girls to Bube'

Life

What Would He Be Doing Today?

This morning I got up fairly early for my 1/2 days (at 9, thats "early" for me, haha), and went to the gym. On the way, I picked up my usual cup o' joe at Turkey Hill (It's a standard Hazelnut 20 oz with

Life

A World Full of ____(word similar to coincidences, yet not)___

I do not believe in coincidences. I believe in divinity. I sure as heck don't understand it, but I believe it for the most part. Maybe that's why tonight at my 1st group grief counseling session I met a family who went through such scary similar

Life

Bill of Rights for the Bereaved

.....June Cerza Kolf (this is one of my favorite things from the 1st group grief therapy session I attended tonight) Do not make me do anything I do not want to do. Let me cry Allow me to talk about the deceased. Do not force me to make quick decisions.

Life

Tuesday Blues

I hate Tuesdays. I don't know if I've told you that before, but for obvious reasons, Tuesdays suck. This Tuesday isn't so bad, but I had a pretty emotional night, and tonight, that isn't going to change. I start my group grief

Life

Surviving.....

Many of you know, and if you haven't figure it out yet, too bad, that music is my passion. It's one of the few things in my life that keeps me pumped, keeps my going, and literally controls my emotions. The song I just posted is

Life

Why?

Many times throughout my life, I have asked the question "Why?". It's a simple, one word question that so many of us raise at many different points for different reasons. It seems so simple, but it's such a powerful question that oftentimes cannot be