Life - Brenda Lee Free (Page 12)

Chapters

Chapter 1. Kevin. Chapter 2. Transition. Chapter 3, here we enter…I am in the third chapter. The gateway to the beginning of a third life. Maybe chapter two was pretty much a void of life, as it was so numbing, but it was such a deep divided transition in

Life

Support, not Approval

I think my brain is skewed. Ok, don't mentally reply to that, because I KNOW my brain is skewed. Can you tell me what the difference is between 'support' and 'approval'. They're so close in my brain that I often overlap their

Life

Who Decides for You?

When Kevin & I were married, we weighed all decisions together. It was a balance between who liked what activities, our budget, and generally what we felt like doing. In my "single" life, I find it extremely hard to make a decision. Most people see me as quite

Life

Expectation of Dreams

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. --Joseph Campbell" This morning I found this quote in my Twitter feed. It stopped me in my tracks. Letting go of the life we had planned, being

Life

What to hold onto?

The headstone is ordered. Yes, 1.5 years it took, but finally, his name will be etched in stone in all its finality. There's really only two reasons your name gets carved in stone: a memorial, or an award, both two extremes of emotions. It wasn't

Life

Robobrenda

Some days I am a super robot. I do it all, and I do it ALL. Today has been one of those days. This morning was insanity at work: inputting data most of the morning before my bosses went out, copy copy copy, big project going out the door, getting

Life

Getting Better All the Time

Tragedies are constantly surrounding us: massive, destructive, devastating tragedies that hurt hundreds, sometimes thousands. With the recent Gulf oil spill and the flooding in Nashville, I cannot help but feel upset at the lives that have been taken, and the destruction happening to our eco-systems due to these disasters. I

Life

Who is Forgotten

Today at a cafe I saw one of Kevin's co-workers. I wasn't sure if he knew who I was, but even after they cashier asked my name for my order, I thought he may get a ding in his head, but no. I knew him, but

Life

The Big Release

Last night, after a day (and well weeks) of fretful thinking over the pain of getting a tattoo, the possibility of infection or allergic reaction, and simply just wanting to wimp out, I sucked it up and got a permanent memorial around my right ankle to Kevin. Something unique, something

Life

(Untitled)

18 months. 1.5 years. April 28, 2010 marks 1.5 years since I last saw Kevin. But that day, I do not care to remember. I want to remember April 28, 2008-a weekend where we were most likely at the beach fishing and camping, a world away from hospitals,

Life

Happiness on Earth and Above

Down to roughly 2 weeks of school before a few days of finals, then FREEDOM (until the Fall). While I have only been back to school for one year, it has been enough to kick my bum to the curb and back. Part of it probably has to do with

Life

Suffocation by Schedule

About 3/4 of my phone calendar is highlighted in green. That means only about 1/4 of my life right now is "free" time and even that I have mentally slated away to certain people. I, in fact, just had to green schedule one of my best

Life

Simplicity

Few things in this life will make you stop to smell the roses. Cliched? Yes, but true? Even moreso. Who bothers to look up and discover a cloudless sky filled with more stars that your eyes can focus upon? How many enjoy being a passenger on a ride through the

Life

It comes, and then it goes

Today I'm off. Not sure what's up with my body, my brain feels kind of fuzzy, and despite the beauty of the day I'm feeling a bit cranky. I often wonder how much of this is female hormones, how much is widowhood/grief. I

Life

Possibility of Freedom

Grief is a weight, a chain, a torrent of emotions that just drags along with every facet of life. I have walked with it for almost 1.5 years now, and even before, watching my life being destroyed by cancer and disaster. I know, that I will never be 100%

Life

That Which We Don't Talk About: Dating

The "one year" rule has been a sort of unspoken rule amongst widow(er)s. You cannot put a timeline on love, loss, and your ability to move forward, but it seems for those who broke the one year standard rule of waiting to date after losing a

Life

Motivation

I am trying to find the motivation in life, and in the things I have committed to, despite resenting right now. School-it needs to be completed. I am so close, and it is a commitment I have made. It may be frustrating and exhausting, but somehow I need to find

Life

It Feels Good to be Free

Freedom. A whole week of no assignments, house guests, and 1.5 days off of work. I like this way too much. One of the discussions at Saturday night's widow's group was about how much time we took off work after losing our spouses. I was

Life

Hobbies or Habitual?

On Saturday evening I had the rare opportunity to sit down with 8 other widows. I was the youngest, but it was good to be around others facing the same emotions, questions, and concerns that I do daily. One of the other widows' husband had passed just 3 days

Life

That Which We Don't Talk About: Depression

There is no doubt that when you are grieving, you are depressed. It is natural to have anxiety, mood swings, sadness, anger, bursts of crying spells. There comes a point though, where you need to recognize if what you are dealing with in grief, is beyond the point, and if

Life

Superbad.

I will not lie: I am in a BAD place. I thought the 6 month mark was bad. But apparently 16 months sucks too. I am burnt out from school. I am trying extremely hard to connect for more freelance opportunities. I am working 3 jobs besides the freelance. I

Life

KThnxBye

KThnxBye is a typical Twitter ending. You use it when you're posting one of those comments that is only SLIGHTLY (psh) cynical. Like mine today: Dear God: If you could just give me my husband back, everything would be better. Kthnxbye. :-\ Last night, after a super duper

Life

The Windchime

I collect windchimes. When I first began life on my own, my first roommate and I found a MASSIVE 3 foot tuned windchime at the beach for $30, and we put it up at our apartment. I let her have it when we moved out on our own, but I

Life

That Which We Don't Talk About: MONEY

We do not want to admit debt. For me, debt means 'failure', and that is even harder to admit. There is your good debt: mortage, student loans...and your bad debt: victoria's secret credit card, a maxed out Dell card. However you made it into the

Life

Blog Away

I'm trying to think up some new ideas for more topic specific blogs. For the next few blogs, I'd like to blog about 'That Which We Don't Talk About'. Basically a series of blogs focused on subjects that we are often afraid