Life

A collection of 530 posts

Life

A Year in the Life of a Widow

Meet Alicia O'Cull.  I met Alicia in an airport on the way to Camp Widow.  The back story is that we knew each other from (you guessed it) Twitter and through a serious of direct messages, realized that she was going to be on the same flight as

Life

Sorting through the Shit

I am surrounded by shit.  No, it doesn't stink (well, sometimes it does) but it does take up every possible ounce of space.  I'm a clutterer.  I don't know exactly when it started, or why nearly EVERYTHING became sentimental.  Every home I have made

Life

The Path of Least Existence

The more I push into where I see talent and experience the lousier I feel.  I've been looking for something new in my life and as I search for it and meet people about it, the less adequate I feel. Meanwhile, as I explore options of a world

Life

3 Years: A Day that is Mine

I woke up this morning and didn't immediately think of it.  And when I did, when I realized it was Friday, October 28, 2011, I said to myself "Am I going to freak?  No, I'm O.K." I am O.K. When Kevin died

Life

Owning 2 Years

Sandy lost her husband 2 years ago today.  Our journeys reflect in one another: we both lost our husbands to cancer, gave up our homes and stability afterwards for something we could handle on our own.  Since those times, however, our journeys have become very unique. Sandy has a kick

Life

Everyday Grief

Sometimes I forget that I am not the only one in pain.  Every day each of us encounter something painful - stubbing our toe, someone saying something mean to or about us, a nasty rumor, betrayal, heartbreak, or death.  Pain is not only about those who have experienced the loss

Life

Dying Fall

On my drive into work this morning I saw the leaves, vibrant in their turning color.  When they become their most vivid red, orange and yellow it means they are soon going to fall off the tree and onto the ground to die.  It will be another nearly 6 months

Life

Pancreatic Cancer - To Merle

I don't like Apple.  It was inbred into me from childhood and my techie brother who insisted on everything P.C.  I think I would be disowned if I bought an Apple product.  I don't own an iPod, an iPhone or a Mac.  I am the

Life

10 Ways to go Green on the Cheap

In these days of green frenzy, it's hard not to be swept up in the madness of becoming earth friendly. It's a good thing, but the cost of going green can hit our slim budgets hard. Being a penny pincher, I have come up with 10

Life

Screw the Shoulds

I should * share * love * rest * heal * write * market * teach * work * clean * travel * play I live a lot of "I Shoulds" in my life these days.  I dabble in so many things.  I have tried streamlining them so I'm not on so many different plateaus but it

Life

Everything Hurts

My therapist warned me that the surgery itself could spur on trauma.  I had thought about that.  Entering a hospital, seeing the tubes, smelling the antiseptic, IVs, gurneys: all reminders of the 45 days straight Kevin spent in the hospital, not including the additional return trips before he died...in

Life

Sharing Our Dirt

When Kevin was diagnosed with cancer, I went to the blog to share our journey.  I put it out there so that people would know how specifically to pray, but also so that it would limit the amount of time I'd spend on the phone trying to answer

Life

Being Honest with your Children about Tough Economic Conditions

Dad's laid off, Mom has to go back to work, and the kids can't afford the newest video games or sports equipment. Everything in the pantry is generic, and the yearly family trip to the beach has been cancelled. To a kid, this can feel like

Life

Two people; Two Hospitals

This morning I went to my local hospital for my pre-operative bloodwork for my upcoming back surgery.  Nerves were at an all time high last night.  After watching an episode of 'Lost' that hit a little too close to home (spine surgery gone wrong) I began thinking about

Life

Palliative - A Guest Post by Andilit

Andi is a kind soul, a woman whose eyes warm up as soon as a smile hits her face.  I felt her warmth even when I read of Andi's mother passing.  I knew this would open a new chapter in her life, but also would end many others.

Life

STOP, collaborate and listen.

I had a great blog topic, now it's gone.  I'm sure it will come back when it's 2 a.m. and I'm laying awake in my bed, but for now, it's gone.  So, I guess I'll just tell

Life

Thrifty Activities to Engage Your Children

It can be difficult to find fun inexpensive things to do with children. Sometimes I just forget the obvious things that kids like to do. It seems once you grow out of childhood, you forget just how much fun free entertainment can be! Here is a list of things you

Life

Learning to Smell the Roses

Do you ever think back and go "how in God's name did I get here?"  When Kevin became sick, I asked myself that.  When Kevin died, I asked myself that.  When I was working through widowhood at 24, I asked myself that.  Now, I ask myself

Life

Powerless to Faith

I want to write about Camp Widow and the tips I have and the experiences I had and the relationships I made.  But sometimes something more powerful overshadows all the wants.  Sometimes you read someone's news and your heart shatters with theirs. What I read on the Facebook

Life

I am Not Alone

I'm laying in my bed at the San Diego Marriott Marquis and in this hotel are nearly 300 other widows and widowers. I am not alone. When I lost my husband I felt so very alone. I am not alone. I was 24, my local support group was

Life

We Do it Together

Who would want to spend an entire weekend with a bunch of sappy widdas? Me. I've seen the looks when I tell people I'm going to "Camp Widow".  I can tell that they think it sounds morbid, depressing, like they very last thing I

Life

Sharing One Another's Loss

This past weekend I found myself stopping by the cemetery where Kevin is buried.  These days I rarely visit.  It's usually only when I have some down time and I'm in the area.  I know other widow(er)s who visit weekly, some even daily, to

Life

Widow Brain

It's Friday which means we soon have FREEDOM from the weekday stress that all of us deal with unless we're one of those freaky people who absolutely love their job every minute of every day.  To those people, I hate you (not really, but kinda). One

Life

Past and Present Pain

I layed in pain this morning in the only position where 80% of the pain was subsided.  A position I can't get into while working, driving, doing anything in my daily routine but sleeping.  I thought about the pain I was going through, then tried to refocus it,

Life

Others Struggle Too

You never know what someone is going through.  Be nice.  It seems simple doesn't it? It's not. I have probably yelled all the expletives in my car this week as I drive to work.  It's the most painful part of my day right now