Life

A collection of 530 posts

Life

The Role of Family in Loss

One of the biggest concerns or issues that I see widow(er)s discuss is their FAMILY.  Whether it be a blood relative or an in-law, there are very few instances of smooth outcomes with the loss of your spouse, who is either their son, daughter, or in-law.  Death leads

Life

Life is Messy

I wondered when I titled this blog if I had already written a "life is messy" blog.  Amazingly, no, but that didn't mean I didn't already mention it.  I've always known that life wasn't always so clean, but I never

Life

Freezing Point

The lake was still frozen, but I was sunshiney, alive. My leg is numb but the rest of me is ready to roll. Why can't it all connect? Today I found out I may have a pinched nerve.  It may also lead to surgery.  I DO have to

Life

Listen Up You!

Sometimes your body screams NO to you.  My mind has been yelling at me for a long while, but it's taken a bit longer for my body to catch on.  Yesterday, it begged for mercy and so did the rest of me. Two nights ago I went to

Life

10 Days to do Life on the Cheap

It is a tight economy, and even if you have a good household income everyone is looking for ways to save a few dollars here and there. Here are 10 ways to do life on the cheap without much effort. Become a coupon clipper. Many online websites now have online

Life

Me Time

I can only do SO much.  I say this phrase to myself several times a day.  My much is much different than your much.  My much never seems to be enough.  Not enough posters out for the big game on Saturday.  Not enough focus at work.  Not enough words typed.

Life

Not in the Cards

I guess I never expected life to turn out this way.  In fact, I know I never expected this.  I did not know life could be hard or difficult.  I was happily sheltered from that when I was younger.  We had what we needed, a few extras when we were

Life

Facebook Memorials - Keeping their Memory Alive

Facebook is not just for the living.  There you'll find my late husband, Kevin Boitson.  After a devastating alert passed across my screen telling me "You haven't connected with Kevin in a while" when he had been dead a couple of months, I was

Life

Frustration Fridays

When I say words ending with "ion" in my head I do it with an Adam Sandler voice.  I believe somewhere in the history of TV, movies or in my generally freaked out personality Adam Sandler would say words ending in "tion" or "ion"

Life

Giving Up Control

I'm fearful that I became a widow at 24 to prepare myself emotionally to support someone else in my life who may become a widow too early in life.  Who will it be?  I have a running tab of those who I am fearful will lose their husbands

Life

Guest Post: Love and Loss

I met Tara through an online organization that networks widows.  We were both young when we lost our "older" husbands (Kevin was 12 years older than I) and both had died of esophageal related cancers.  We have kept in contact since months after we lost our husbands and

Life

Guest Blog: Moving On or Moving Forward?

Guest Post from a widow friend: I lost my husband to H1N1 Complications.  He died October 10th, 2009 at 11:11AM.  He was only 29 years old.  We did not know he had H1N1 until after he passed away and a News Reporter told me while he was interviewing me.

Life

Tis the Season for Weddings

Trauma comes in many forms.  I never knew a happy event could be traumatic.  An event such as a wedding.  The 8 weddings and 4 baby showers I attended within the first year of Kevin's death were traumatic events.  "Til death do us part" stabbed me

Life

Thrown into Community

When Kevin was sick, community came out of everywhere.  We were sent support from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Kevin's hometown, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, my hometown, and many parts in between.  Much of our support came from friends and family, but we also received support from complete strangers: community. With the recent

Life

Help a Birthday Gal Out!

Today's my birthday and I woke up in a craptastic mood.  In fact, I went to bed in a craptastic mood and apparently it did nothing but brew all night long while I was sleeping.  I was angry this morning, but why?  My life's become pretty

Life

Get by with a little help...

From my friends - I need YOU! I am working to switch my focus from a heavy blog dedication to finishing the book (how many times have I typed this phrase before??) as well as focusing more on travel writing.  No, I'm not leaving grief writing behind, just

Life

A Date or a Entire Lifetime?

I didn't want to, but y'all made me do it!  THE ROYAL WEDDING.  My friend Stephanie wrote this on Facebook today: "There's so much pomp and circumstance surrounding this Royal Wedding. I hope more so was invested in the marriage itself."  In

Life

Trusting Unexpectation

I should know to trust the unexpected, especially if it involves things I have planned around not expecting the unexpected. I am being shown, again and again, that my life is not within in my control.  This hasn't seemed to stop me from being an ultimate control freak,

Life

Threes.

Life tends to go in threes.  It has usually done so for my family, and I have been its bitter grateful recipient.  When Kevin died, within 6 months I lost an angiosarcoma friend, and my grandfather.  Three.  Whenever something has broken in my family, (i.e. washer), the refrigerator and

Life

Do I know?

I really appreciate when people tell me how they see bad situations transform their lives.  A pair of friends were down visiting this past week. At dinner one night, one of them shared how the impact of Kevin's death was bad for them, bad, differently, than what I

Life

Thee Rant.

I was told this week that I was courageous.  She also told me it was time to be weak, to admit my feelings of guilt, my guilt for feeling weak.  Guilt?  What should I have to feel guilty about?  Oh yeah: Click here for all listings involving previously mentioned guilt.

Life

Bite In

Last night was up down up down.  I am definitely having difficulty balancing my varying levels of emotions.  During one of the ups I realized what an amazing group of widow friends that I have acquired.  I spent about 45 minutes on Twitter last evening joking around with these women

Life

Nag Nag Nag

He used to make me so annoyed.  He was in charge of changing the kitty litter, and cooking.  I felt like I was in charge of EVERYTHING else: bills, dishes, cleaning, chauffeur.  I complained.  I nagged.  I bitched to my friends about him.  I did it.  I'm guilty.

Life

Recapture The Day

On Friday my therapist told me I needed to recapture the days that I lost in Kevin's death: our anniversary, his birthday.  The past few years, even my birthday has felt lost because of his death.  I don't really know how to begin doing this, but

Life

Sad

My husband died.  2 years 5 months 3 days ago.  While the length at which I have been separated by my husband, from death, is a "reasonable amount of time", I still get sad. I am sad right now.  I hide it, or at least I try to.