Life Conundrum - Privileged yet Unworthy A friend Bryan finally had the guts to share his demons. He stepped out on a very shaky limb, and shared his concerns. It is awesome, I'm proud of him. I have been fighting through my own demons the past few days, weeks, months, maybe even going on
Life Widower Wednesday: What I would and can give up When Kevin died, I said over and over that I would have given up anything to have him still be here on earth. I no longer feel that immediacy. While I wish he hadn't passed, I'm content in my new life and where my chapter two
Life EMDR My brain is on overload this morning. Friday I began therapy. Part of my therapy is the general kind, the other is something called EMDR. Most people think I'm nuts when I talk about what EMDR involves. I have decided I am not going to think too much
Life Bookstore Sections I used to spend a significant amount of time in Bookstores. When I wasn't old enough to drink, I would grab a coffee at the cafe, and plop myself on the floor in between the aisles of books, just browsing through my next reads. After I lost Kevin,
Life You are Not your Past I've been attending church again. Gasp, I know! I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years. It's a big commitment/step. I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain,
Life Wish I Was Walking in their Shoes I have met so many people in the past two years that have inspired me, and frankly, made me a bit jealous! To me, from the outside in, they have found a personal satisfaction and success in the twists and turns that have brought them to their walk in life.
Life Death Stalker Everytime a friend has someone that dies, I stalk their Facebook page. I look for the phrases that send me reeling. The ones that I still can't believe people say. This, of course, is coming from someone who isn't that religious anymore, so some of these
Life I Want My Organs to Play I recently posted this article that I wrote on my Facebook page, and asked my friend if they had signed their donor card? Organ donation always stirs up conversation, and a friend posted the link to an article about a man who was killed trying to save a woman from
Life Nuptual Necessity I have several friends who have just gotten hitched, and some that are busy planning their upcoming weddings. Weddings are a tough thing for me. The year after Kevin passed, 2009, I attended 8 weddings. I basically went to everyone to which I was invited, not being able to say
Life I have a fear That not me, but others, are going to lose everything. My sister just ushered in this lovely new bundle of joy, and I feel so much love, but also so much fear. I am terrified that something is going to "happen". Maybe it's just the fact
Life Suck it Up I guess you could say that I'm not a fan of the phrase "Suck it up" amongst others (I'm sorry for your loss, At least you have ___, etc.). Over the past several weeks, I have felt like I have needed to accept this phrase
Life Better Place I need to take my brain to a better place. So I'm taking it here. I want to focus on the good that has happened. I do not want to see the situations that I am in where I am stuck. I want freedom. I want to get
Life To Reality TV or Not to Reality TV Sometimes you need friends to put your life in perspective. Like Janet for example whose post today focused on thankfulness. Janet has been through a lot, just read her story. Yet she's thankful for a lot. Am I? I seem to be constantly searching for the next big
Life Wordless Wednesday - I saw the light through the trees... Setting: Money Rocks County Park, just weeks after Kevin's passing, lost in grief...
Life Letting Go Versus Committing At a writer's group on Wednesday, I was discussing the things I wanted to give up and change in my life. I told them about the struggles I was having in my career life, the hopes I wanted for my future now having completed my degree, and the
Life 4 Four years ago today, I married Kevin. It was a great day, a day we had waited a "long" time for. Our engagement was fairly short, less than a year, but during that time we were constantly battling against delays and denials from U.S. immigration trying to
Life I had S-E-X I want to start this blog with a statement to alert any friends, family, or strict conservatives to warn them of what I am about to share, but it kind of defeats the purpose of what I feel I have to share. Not for the people I just listed, but
Life Quitting For the past 7 weeks, I have been gradually weaning myself off of my anti-depressant, Celexa. My goal was to stay on Celexa until I was finished with school to help maintain my focus while battling the loss of my husband and other stressors that have become a part of
Life Choosing Past, Present and Future Tonight I turned on the "tube", and got stuck on the channel featuring Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. I grew up watching this show with my parents, a particular favorite of my mom's. At first, I stayed on the channel, in awe of the bad cinematography and
Life One detail. One day. Warning: Rambling 1 am blog. Tonight I was asked what I thought of the movie I had just seen. Normally, I would respond that I liked, disliked, and my favorite or most disturbing parts of the plot line. Tonight I was left with uncertainties, questions - these only led to
Life What's New for 2011? While I'm busy working on some very intimate posts, I figured I would take some time to update all of you on what's happening in my life, and looking ahead to what I am grateful and excited for in 2011. First off, there's only
Life Reflection on His Dream Today honors Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, but as someone whose life sometimes revolves around grief, I think of his death today. I reflect to the moment when Coretta Scott King first knew that her husband had been shot, killed, assassinated. For all those widow(er)s who
Faith Faith and Soul I can't tell you the last time I picked up the bible and actually read, but sometimes I go to Upper Room Devotional to find some faith inspiration. When Kevin was ill, I often posted devotional reflections from this website, ones that seemed so perfect for our situation
