Uncategorized

A collection of 563 posts

Local

Guest Blog and Camp Widow

Today you can read my guest blog over at Shawn Smucker's blog. For the widows who are reading and are in San Diego at Camp Widow, come find me and say hi!  You'll see me hobbling around with a strawberry cane.  I can't wait

Life

We Do it Together

Who would want to spend an entire weekend with a bunch of sappy widdas? Me. I've seen the looks when I tell people I'm going to "Camp Widow".  I can tell that they think it sounds morbid, depressing, like they very last thing I

Local

Loss of Childhood

Every now and then someone has a story they want and need to share, but no outlet for which to present it.  Sometimes that story is almost too painful to write, too difficult to share, especially publicly.  I am sharing this story on behalf of someone who needed to share,

Life

Sharing One Another's Loss

This past weekend I found myself stopping by the cemetery where Kevin is buried.  These days I rarely visit.  It's usually only when I have some down time and I'm in the area.  I know other widow(er)s who visit weekly, some even daily, to

Life

Widow Brain

It's Friday which means we soon have FREEDOM from the weekday stress that all of us deal with unless we're one of those freaky people who absolutely love their job every minute of every day.  To those people, I hate you (not really, but kinda). One

Local

Above Themselves

I met Joel Cornett on (gasp surprise) twitter.  Joel is part of the leadership team at Gap Community Church and has a deep passion for faith.  While I tiptoed away from many religious connections after Kevin's death, when I began following Joel on twitter I sensed not only

Life

Past and Present Pain

I layed in pain this morning in the only position where 80% of the pain was subsided.  A position I can't get into while working, driving, doing anything in my daily routine but sleeping.  I thought about the pain I was going through, then tried to refocus it,

Life

Others Struggle Too

You never know what someone is going through.  Be nice.  It seems simple doesn't it? It's not. I have probably yelled all the expletives in my car this week as I drive to work.  It's the most painful part of my day right now

Life

The Role of Family in Loss

One of the biggest concerns or issues that I see widow(er)s discuss is their FAMILY.  Whether it be a blood relative or an in-law, there are very few instances of smooth outcomes with the loss of your spouse, who is either their son, daughter, or in-law.  Death leads

Local

The Five Year Plan

Someone tweeted something the other day about preparing their five-year-plan.  I hadn't heard that term in a while.  Is that because of the economic decline, loss of jobs, production, motivation?  Maybe.  Planning five years ahead seems pretty darned lofty these days.  Especially for moi.My "Five Year

Life

Life is Messy

I wondered when I titled this blog if I had already written a "life is messy" blog.  Amazingly, no, but that didn't mean I didn't already mention it.  I've always known that life wasn't always so clean, but I never

Life

Freezing Point

The lake was still frozen, but I was sunshiney, alive. My leg is numb but the rest of me is ready to roll. Why can't it all connect? Today I found out I may have a pinched nerve.  It may also lead to surgery.  I DO have to

Life

Listen Up You!

Sometimes your body screams NO to you.  My mind has been yelling at me for a long while, but it's taken a bit longer for my body to catch on.  Yesterday, it begged for mercy and so did the rest of me. Two nights ago I went to

Uncategorized

Overdone It

I have no self control. I admitted it, I'm done.  Ok, maybe not.  I like desserts.  I like travel.  I love chocolate.  I like to help.  Find me some fries.  A, B and C will help me feel better.  But now I feel guilty. It's a

Uncategorized

That Sunday Morning

My family has grown over the years.  8+ years my Uncle married  Christine  Minnich's Mom.  This was significant for a few reasons.   First, my  Uncle and Christine's Mom found love.  Second, I gained two  great new  Cousins.  Third, Christine' Mom is a widow.  She and

non profit

Looking in from the Outside

editor's note - this is not a pity party I hear my voice on the CD recording of my interview on a recent radio show for a fundraiser I am running.  I sound good, knowledgeble.  I sound professional without being snotty.  I sound heartbreaking at times, strong at

Life

Me Time

I can only do SO much.  I say this phrase to myself several times a day.  My much is much different than your much.  My much never seems to be enough.  Not enough posters out for the big game on Saturday.  Not enough focus at work.  Not enough words typed.

Local

I forgive you

Last Wednesday I looked in her eyes when she looked up at me, knew me, knew where my husband had laid his head, and took the posters with a smile.  I went up two more floors and as I cried explaining what I was holding in my hand.  He seemed

Life

Not in the Cards

I guess I never expected life to turn out this way.  In fact, I know I never expected this.  I did not know life could be hard or difficult.  I was happily sheltered from that when I was younger.  We had what we needed, a few extras when we were

Local

When Life Goes Away

Loss comes in all shapes and sizes; through people, dreams and difficulties.  I met Shanelle of Full of Bliss Baked Goods (BTW - she makes a butt kicking makes anyone feel better chocolate chocolate chocolate cake) at my very first "Tweetup" here in Lancaster.  Maybe it was our

Life

Facebook Memorials - Keeping their Memory Alive

Facebook is not just for the living.  There you'll find my late husband, Kevin Boitson.  After a devastating alert passed across my screen telling me "You haven't connected with Kevin in a while" when he had been dead a couple of months, I was

Life

Frustration Fridays

When I say words ending with "ion" in my head I do it with an Adam Sandler voice.  I believe somewhere in the history of TV, movies or in my generally freaked out personality Adam Sandler would say words ending in "tion" or "ion"

Local

Best Miniature (Mini) Golf Places in Lancaster, PA

I feel proud to have grown up in a place that offers some of the best miniature golf courses around. Lancaster County, Pennsylvania is not just about the Amish. Instead, our county also boasts some very fun and family-oriented places to tee off, miniature style. The best place in Lancaster

Life

Giving Up Control

I'm fearful that I became a widow at 24 to prepare myself emotionally to support someone else in my life who may become a widow too early in life.  Who will it be?  I have a running tab of those who I am fearful will lose their husbands

Life

Guest Post: Love and Loss

I met Tara through an online organization that networks widows.  We were both young when we lost our "older" husbands (Kevin was 12 years older than I) and both had died of esophageal related cancers.  We have kept in contact since months after we lost our husbands and